I’m a very emotional person. I believe most of us are, even if we show other people a logical front.
Logic versus emotion is a bit of a theme for me. You’ll notice it in a lot of the books I recommend. The Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters is the one that gives it the simplest picture.
Peters is a psychiatrist who’s worked with elite athletes, including British Cycling. His big idea is that your mind has different parts that don’t always agree. There’s the Human, which is the logical, thinking you. There’s the Chimp, which is emotional, quick and driven by feelings. And there’s the Computer, where your habits and old beliefs are stored, ready to run automatically.
Here’s the uncomfortable bit. The chimp is stronger and quicker than the human. When something happens, it reacts first. By the time the logical part of you has caught up, the chimp has often already made the decision.
Peters is clear that you can’t get rid of your chimp. It will always be there. What you can do is learn to manage it.
He gives you some simple ways to do it. Let the chimp have its rant somewhere safe, so it gets the feelings out before you act on them. Then box it in with facts and truth, the things the human knows that the chimp is ignoring. And sometimes give it a banana, a small reward, to keep it quiet while you get on with things. He also talks about the computer filling up with gremlins and goblins. Those are the unhelpful beliefs and old habits that run without you noticing.
Who’s in control right now?
So who’s in control of you right now: you, or the emotional chimp in your head that yells at you? Ask yourself whether you think long term or short term. And when you make a commitment to yourself, how often do you follow through?
The chimp will always be there. The question is which voice is louder. Learn to manage it and you start to shape your future.
“When you decide to do something, remind yourself that it is commitment not motivation that matters.”
That line matters to me because motivation is the chimp’s department. It turns up when it feels like it and disappears when things get boring or scary. Commitment is a decision the human makes, and keeps making, whether the chimp fancies it or not.
Peters also talks about working out what you can control and what you can’t. Your chimp will happily spend all day worrying about the second list. The human gets far more done by putting its energy into the first.
I wrote a whole book about procrastination, Done Beats Perfect. I also owned up in it to procrastinating while I wrote it. If you want proof of how loud the chimp can be, there it is.
Decide with emotion, justify with logic
I’d guess 80% or more of our decisions are emotional. That’s my belief, nobody’s study. We decide with emotion and justify with logic afterwards.
Back in 2019 I talked about a similar idea. It’s a theory that we’ve got three brains: reptilian first, then a monkey or chimp brain, then the human one. It’s a different model from Peters’, but it lands in the same place. As I said at the time, “if I don’t like the way I feel about it, I can’t apply logic to it.”
Most marketing starts with logic, which is back to front. Reassure people first, then deal with how it makes them feel, then give them the logical reasons. And do the same with yourself.
The skill is knowing when to slow down and put some practical logic to the test. Before you send the angry email. Before you say yes to something because you’re flattered. Before you quit something because one day went badly.
He writes it so anyone can follow. I’d read it if you’ve ever surprised yourself with how you reacted to something, which I’m guessing is most of us.
It’s the last book in the second chapter of my free guide, 50 Books That Shaped Me. It’s a good one to finish that chapter on.
Next time your chimp starts shouting, you’ll at least know who’s talking.
