I love Start with Why. I also argued with it in my own book.
In Done Beats Perfect I called it Simon Sinek’s brilliant book. A couple of lines later I said that when it comes to actually making a change, I think it’s more important to start with where. I stand by both.
First, the book. Start with Why is a classic. If you don’t want to read it, watch the TED talk. It’s really, really simple: no one cares what you do until you tell them why you do it.
Sinek draws it as three circles, one inside the other. He calls it the Golden Circle. Why sits in the middle, how goes around it, and what sits on the outside. Most businesses talk from the outside in. Here’s what we do, here’s how we do it, please buy it. The ones people love and stay loyal to go the other way. They start with what they believe, and the product is simply the proof.
His best-known example is Apple. Plenty of companies make good computers. What Apple sold for years was a belief about thinking differently and challenging the way things are done, and the computers came after. He also points out that Martin Luther King gave the “I have a dream” speech. People turned up for the dream. Sinek’s point is that a speech about a plan would never have filled the place.
Sinek even ties it to biology. The part of the brain that deals with feelings, trust and loyalty is the part that makes decisions, and it has no capacity for language. That’s why something can feel right before you can explain why. When you lead with why, you’re talking to that part first, and the logic follows behind.
“People don’t buy WHAT you do, they buy WHY you do it.”
It’s back to the vision thing, the movement, the manifesto Russell Brunson talks about in Expert Secrets. Let people know why you care. People are more interested in feeling understood by you than in understanding you. Part of how you do that is showing them why you do what you do. If that connects with them, they’ll stick around. They’ll want to do things with you.
Where I part company, a little
Here’s my small argument with it. Why is brilliant for talking to other people. When you’re stuck and trying to change something in your own life or business, I think the first question is where.
In the book I used a shopping centre. You’re lost, wandering about, trying to remember which shops you’ve already walked past. You find the map on the wall. The most important thing on that map is the little arrow that says you are here.
Without that arrow, the rest of the map is no use to you. It doesn’t matter how clear your why is or where you’re heading. You need to know where you’re starting from, and you need to be brutally honest about it. No fantasy, no catastrophe. Just here.
I came back to that idea in April 2020, when the world had gone strange and lots of people I talked to were stuck. I wrote about the ABC of change, and A was acceptance. I said it again then: I love Sinek’s book, but sometimes you start with where. Until you accept where you are right now, you’re not going anywhere.
So the way I see it, you need both. When you’re talking to other people, lead with why. When you’re the one who has to change, start with where.
If you run a business, have a look at your own website or your social profile with a stranger’s eyes. Does it open with a list of services? Most do. Imagine opening with the reason you started instead, the thing that annoyed you enough to do it differently. That’s the bit people remember.
I’ve put it in my free guide, 50 Books That Shaped Me, with a few lines on why it made the cut.
Watch the talk if you’re short on time. Read the book if you want to know why it works. Then go and find your arrow.
