If you only ever perform for applause, you’re missing the point.
Showing up at your best is about showing up for yourself. Yes, that usually means other people benefit too. It’s one of the many paradoxes in life. When you do things for others, you get to feel good too, simply by doing it. Even if they never notice or find out.
But if your motivation is applause, or gold stickers on a chart, you’ll miss the fulfilment that comes from your own actions. The only person who needs to be proud of you is you.
Franklin’s little book
Benjamin Franklin had a simple way of keeping this in view. In his autobiography he describes the little book he used to plan his days. One page set out his hours, from rising at five to plan the day’s business, through to the evening, when he put things in their places and examined the day. At either end of that page sat a question:
The Morning. Question. What good shall I do this day?
Evening. Question. What good have I done to-day?
Benjamin Franklin, The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, Plan for Attaining Moral Perfection
Both questions ask about doing good, which is a higher bar than getting through the to-do list. And neither of them asks who noticed.
Coaching the emails instead of writing them
I’m not going to write about clients here. All I’ll say is that I recently coached one through some email work, to help them market better. I didn’t write the emails for them. That would have been easy. Instead I coached them through draft after draft, so they get stronger at doing it for themselves.
I do the same with my team. I’m not sure who notices. It doesn’t matter. That’s the point. Yes, I like praise, but I don’t show up just so I can get it.
My morning question
Franklin’s morning question is a good one to borrow, and I’ve been thinking about what mine would be. Maybe “What will I do today to gently enjoy the dance of life?” Or one of my favourites, “What would love do next?”
Try his evening question on your last 7 days. What good did you do that nobody saw?
