I'm a guest on Christopher Watkin's show and we're talking about everything from business to how I got here. I think we shoot about two hours of content in the end.
Chris is going to release the full videos later, but one short clip stays with me. It's 58 seconds long and it's about how I measure success.
Because I learned what success means the hard way.
Looking the part
For years I did all the things it takes to appear successful. The job title. The income. The lifestyle that looked good from the outside. If you'd looked at my life on paper, you'd have ticked the boxes.
But I could never hold on to the feeling of success. Whatever I achieved, the feeling didn't stay. Before long I'd be looking for the next thing to prove I was doing alright.
It's an odd place to be. Everyone else seems to think you've made it, and you can't feel any of it. You start to wonder what's wrong with you. Usually you decide the answer is more. More money, more status, another goal. So you chase that, and the same thing happens again.
One word
It only changed when I worked out what success actually means to me.
Back in 2015 a friend was writing a book about success and asked a few people, me included, for a definition. Mine was long. It was about living on your own terms and loving your life. Having the freedom to choose how you spend your time. Helping other people find their own version of success. I still agree with all of it.
Since then it's got much simpler. These days it's one word. Serenity.
For me, success is peace of mind. It's putting my head on the pillow when the day's done and being OK with myself. I wrote about that in my book, Done Beats Perfect, and it's still the measure I use.
What I didn't see for years is that you can't get that from the outside in. No amount of looking successful gives you peace of mind if the way you're living doesn't sit right with you. It needs you to be honest with yourself and keep the promises you make to yourself. And to stay true to what you value when nobody is watching.
Why your definition matters
If you don't decide what success means to you, someone else will decide for you. Usually it's whoever is shouting loudest. An advert, a social feed, the person you went to school with who seems to be doing better than you.
And you can end up working incredibly hard to win a game you never chose to play.
That's also why I think it's worth checking in on now and again. What felt like success at 25 might not be what you want at 45. Mine moved from a long paragraph to a single word, and the single word is much easier to live by.
Your word might be different to mine. Freedom. Family. Health. Adventure. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's yours and you can feel it when you've got it. So if you had to finish "For me, success is..." in one word, what would yours be?
