“When the chips are down, you’ll know what you’ve got.”
A mentor of mine has said that to me many times over the years. It sounds simple. Then you hit a hard month and it suddenly makes complete sense.
James Allen said something very similar more than a hundred years ago, in his little book As a Man Thinketh:
Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself.
James Allen, As a Man Thinketh (1903)
A hard season shows you who was there all along. That’s uncomfortable to hear. It’s also good news, because it means the work is yours to do, whatever the weather.
Anyone can look good on a full dance floor
It’s easy to show up well when times are great. It’s easy to have a smile on your face when everyone around you has one too, and it’s easy to celebrate when you’re winning.
Any DJ looks good at a party where the floor’s already packed. You find out what you’ve really got when the floor’s empty, nobody’s dancing and you’ve still got two hours to play.
Life works the same way. So when things aren’t going your way, do you still make time for the little things you’re grateful for? Can you still find something positive while everyone around you is losing their head?
I haven’t always got this right
Don’t misunderstand me. I’ve had times where I’ve been angry. Times where I’ve raged, built up resentment and dealt with things in ways I didn’t want to. Sometimes I knew it in the moment, and I definitely knew it in hindsight.
I’m fortunate that I’ve learned from those times. And the more I’ve learned, the easier it’s got to choose who I am, what my character is and how I show up.
That’s the part worth hearing if you’ve had a few moments you’re not proud of. Character gets easier to choose with practice. Every hard moment you handle a little better makes the next one a little easier.
Decisions you can sit comfortably with
There have been times in my life where I’ve made very tough decisions because of my values. They weren’t easy decisions. They’re ones I know that, in the fullness of time, I’ll be able to sit comfortably with.
That’s a useful test for any hard call. Will you be comfortable with it a year from now? It’s a very different question from whether it feels easy today.
What do you value most, and does it actually shape the way you live day to day? If you want to go further with the small daily choices that build character, I wrote about James Allen and the little things in Nothing Changes Until You Do.
Here’s something to think about. Strip away the things you care about right now, and everything you believe is linked to your identity. Who’s the person left underneath it all?
And if you could choose who that person was... who would they be?
