I like the saying, “Nothing changes until you do.” It’s simple, and in my experience it’s true.
James Allen said much the same thing over a hundred years ago, and he said it in a way that’s hard to argue with.
Improve yourself first
Here’s the line from As a Man Thinketh that stopped me:
Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.
James Allen, As a Man Thinketh (1903)
We all want the better circumstances. The bigger client list, the better gigs, the calmer home. We’re less keen on becoming the person who’d have them.
The little things, over and over
I’m a firm believer that it’s the little things we do over and over again that shape our lives the most: the habits, the disciplines, the rituals, the routines, the behaviour.
Everything we have in our lives, everything we get to experience, is the consequence of those behaviours. It might be a delayed consequence. It might not show up straight away, but it’s still the consequence.
It’s rarely the big thing we do once that makes the real difference. It’s the little things, accumulated.
Different life, different habits
For me personally, if I want a different life, I need different habits. I’ve seen this countless times.
Take my health and fitness. If I build a habit of moving on purpose every day, eating fewer ultra-processed foods, cooking from scratch with real ingredients, and making time for my spiritual, emotional and physical health, that effort always pays dividends.
The change normally starts as a discipline rather than a habit. It’s not always something I want to do. But when I realise what I need to do and I’m consistent with it, I often find I start to enjoy it too.
I wrote in Done Beats Perfect that “the standards we’ve set will determine how we spend our time, our money and our lives.” Raising one standard is usually where it starts.
The slow slide
I’ve seen the reverse as well. When those habits slip and less healthy ones start to kick in, the results show up too.
Sometimes it’s so gradual you don’t even notice it until it’s staring you in the face.
Be + have = behave
I guess the big thing for me is this. Think about the life you want to have. What kind of person do you need to be to make that possible? And then how do you need to show up as that person?
Is it any coincidence that if you take the word “be” and add the word “have”, you end up with “behave”? Those things are so closely linked.
Nothing changes until you do.
