I've had days when I've been uncomfortable in my own skin.
Days when I wanted to give up on everything. Days when I thought I was done. Days when I'd lost all hope.
They were real days.
What those days turned out to be
With hindsight, I can see that those were the days that helped define me. They taught me things about myself I wouldn't have learned any other way. They built a strength I didn't know I had. In the end, they made me better.
It didn't feel like that at the time. Not even slightly. At the time it just felt like surviving. It only makes sense looking back.
Hard times don't come with a guarantee that they'll be worth it. But in my case, the worst days ended up being where a lot of the good things started.
What HOPE stands for
If you're finding it hard to look forward right now, please don't give up. Your future self, and the people who love you, will thank you for keeping going.
There is always hope. And the version of it that helped me most is an acronym.
HOPE. Hearing Other People's Experience.
Somebody, somewhere, has been through something like what you're going through. And they came out the other side. That means you can too.
That's what made the difference for me. Hearing from people who'd been where I was, and how they got through it. Their stories gave me something to hold on to when I didn't have much of my own. I even made a podcast episode about it, Episode 019: HOPE (Hearing Other Peoples Experience).
Telling people
So tell people what you're going through. I know that can feel like the hardest thing in the world. And listen to the people who've been there before you. The ones who have the tools and the ways of coping that might help you too.
I've talked about my own struggles more openly over the years, and I'll keep doing it. Partly because it helps me. Mostly because the more of us are open about this stuff, the safer it gets for the next person to say what's going on.
This is my own story. If you're struggling, speak to your GP or someone you trust. In the UK you can call Samaritans on 116 123, free, any time, day or night.
If you want things to change, you have to do it for yourself. But you don't have to do it alone.
