It's late, and the house is quiet. The journal's on the bedside table where it always is, with the pen inside it. Before I sleep, I write three things I'm grateful for today. They have to be different from yesterday's three.
Some nights they come easily. Some nights it takes a while. Sun on a cold morning, or a warm coat. My mum, or my kids. Once in a while it's simply that I got through the day.
Attitude is the easy bit
People love the phrase an attitude of gratitude. It's catchy. I'm just not sure it's real, because an attitude on its own doesn't do much.
The good stuff comes from the doing. That's why I always say practise. Anything you get good at, you get good at by doing it over and over, and feeling grateful is no different.
If you want to get better at running, you run. If you want to get better at your job, you practise the skills it needs. If you want to notice more good things, you practise noticing them.
It felt odd at first
When I started, it was much easier to find things to complain about. My own head would argue with me. Grateful for what, exactly?
I kept going anyway. Over time the balance shifted, and I started to notice more and more reasons to be glad to be alive. It's been one of the biggest shifts in my life.
I'm not going to tell you it cures everything, because it doesn't. What I can say is that it's hard to stay stuck in the worst version of a day when you've just written down three good things about it. And falling asleep on those three sets up the next morning nicely.
A habit for life
Aristotle gets the credit for a line I love. We are what we repeatedly do. I first wrote about this journal in Put yourself in the diary, as one of the rituals that never needs scheduling, and I still can't imagine stopping.
It's also a good antidote to a harsh inner voice. If the conversation in your own head is mostly a list of what went wrong, this gives it something else to talk about.
Put a notebook and pen by your bed today. Tonight, before you turn the light off, write down three things from the day you're grateful for, however small. Tomorrow, find three different ones.
First published October 2016.
