First published 20 September 2021 on Your Best Year Starts Here with Nigel Risner.
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We don't often go near religion on the show. Nigel and I had been chatting about it before we hit record, so we went there. He started with a line he once used on stage, "God doesn't make junk". Someone in the audience thought he was getting too spiritual. All he meant was go easy on yourself, you're a decent human being.
I had something rattling round my head from that morning. A friend pointed out that everyone focuses on the spirit bit of spirituality, whatever their word for it is. Hardly anyone notices the second half of the word. Ritual. It fitted with last week's episode on consistency. Asking for help is fine, but it's a bit like a vision board. Sticking it on the wall doesn't get you the stuff on it. (Nigel reckons it does if you've read The Secret.)
Nigel told the story of the Western Wall in Jerusalem, where people write notes and push them into the wall. A rabbi once called it a purchase order to God. Then he asked me about 75 Hard, where one slip sends you back to day one, and what would happen if we treated our relationships and our work like that. At his house it's no phones at the table on a Friday night. Saturday is a takeaway in front of the telly and nobody talks.
I've never liked the word religion much. But someone once told me it comes from re and ligio, which apparently means connect. Reconnecting I can get behind. I also told Nigel about a management course in my early twenties where the tutor said everyone in the room could be a millionaire, then asked what we'd be prepared to sacrifice to get it. Sometimes, mind you, sharing a dessert with someone is worth more than the tiny step you'd take by saying no to it.
And for someone who's always been wary of anything religious, I found myself agreeing with Nigel that you never get thrown anything you can't handle. A friend of mine puts it as "there's never been a day I didn't live through". Or at least not yet.
What stayed with me
- Spirituality has ritual in it. Whatever you believe, look at what you actually do every day.
- A vision board on the wall does nothing until you add some action.
- Work out what you're prepared to give up for the outcome you want. An hour of telly could become an hour of making something.
- Call yourself out quickly when you get it wrong, then put it right.
- Sometimes the shared dessert wins, and that's fine.
Putting a vision board on the wall doesn't get you the things on the vision board.
Neil Martin
You don't need to ask God a second time for support. He heard the first time.
Nigel Risner
