First published 11 March 2024 on Your Best Year Starts Here with Nigel Risner.
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Nigel brought a mantra back out for this one. Years ago he came up with three things people need in their life, and he's only just started using it again. This week was the first of them, a sense of purpose. The other two (a spirit of adventure and a capacity for growth) were meant for the next couple of weeks.
It started on LinkedIn. A friend was talking about after-dinner speaking and Nigel said he'd never do it. Pre-dinner, yes. Before the second course, maybe. But once alcohol is involved the room changes, and he doesn't feel he's being listened to. Someone replied that they'd seen him do one and he was very good. His answer was that he hadn't felt his purpose in it.
Anyone who's paid Nigel any attention knows about the Cadbury's chocolate and the Diet Coke on stage. When people tell him to go easy on the Diet Coke, he says they've missed the point. It reminded me of a rock band (I couldn't remember which one on air, so I didn't name them) who ask for a bowl of M&M's with one colour taken out. If the bowl's wrong, nobody read the contract properly and they check everything else.
Then the scrambled eggs. All Nigel wanted at his Holiday Inn was scrambled eggs on buttered toast. They couldn't do scrambled eggs but could do an omelette, and someone later told him that's because the omelette comes pre-packed. The toast turned up wrapped in foil with the butter inside, so it had melted into oil. He knows it sounds daft. He just didn't feel listened to. My own low point was poached eggs that were cold in the middle. Frozen poached eggs. I didn't know that was a thing.
When the hotel's app asked him for a review, Nigel wrote back that now was the wrong time, because he knew he'd be cruel about a place that was probably fine. Then he somehow went from that rant to something almost serene about what the podcast is for. I asked him how. Sometimes he can be nurturing and caring, he said. Most of the time he just couldn't be arsed.
What I took from this one
- Once you're clear on your purpose, you know quickly when a day's going wrong.
- When life isn't working, look back and ask where your purpose went.
- Make sure the people closest to you know what you need. It's usually simple stuff.
- One small check, like the M&M's, tells you whether someone's read the rest.
- Don't write the review at quarter to nine after a four-hour drive.
I just want scrambled eggs on buttered toast. It can't be that complicated.
Nigel Risner
If you can find your purpose, and you can share your purpose, and play with those people who are nearest to you, and they understand your purpose, I promise you, your lives will work.
Nigel Risner
