First published 20 March 2023 on Your Best Year Starts Here with Nigel Risner.
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Five months. That's how long it had been since Nigel and I last recorded, so we brought the old theme tune back for this one. People had been messaging asking when we'd be back. Nigel had a bloke ring him who'd gone back to episode one and was working his way through. Nigel warned him about episode 48 (the one where he took his shirt off).
Nigel put the gap down to high intention, low attachment. We always knew we were coming back. We just didn't know the date. Priorities change for a while, and that's fine. And the banter hadn't moved an inch. I reckon if we'd recorded the chat before we pressed record, it would've been our most listened to episode ever.
When Nigel asked what had been working for me, I told him one lesson stood out. I'm more impressive when I don't try to impress. A video of me from five or six years back came up in my memories. It was good, and I could see why it worked. But it was a bit forced, a bit too in your face (too lion, in Nigel's language), and someone told me they preferred me now.
Nigel spent a couple of years trying to be Jack Canfield. Then the week before this, he was the keynote at a school business managers conference. He'd left one memory stick at airport security, forgotten the other, had no watch, and couldn't get anything off the cloud because he thought clouds were up in the sky. No slides at all. He reckons it was the best talk he'd done all year.
We finished on nicking stories. Nigel once watched someone deliver virtually his whole speech, right down to bending down on the slide where Nigel does a high-pitched voice. Then the bloke asked him for feedback. When I borrow one of Nigel's, I just start with "my mate Nigel".
My notes from this one
- It's fine to take a break from something you enjoy. Know you're coming back, even if you don't know when.
- Trying to impress gets in the way. My old video was good and still felt forced.
- Losing your slides might make the talk better. All you've got left is you.
- If you tell someone else's story, say whose it is. "My mate Nigel" does the job.
I'm more impressive when I don't try to impress.
Neil Martin
People wanna buy you, they don't wanna buy this version you think they want.
Nigel Risner
