First published 21 March 2022 on Your Best Year Starts Here with Nigel Risner.
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Nigel came in wanting to talk about consistency. "Again?" I said. But this time he was owning up. January had been manic and February busy, then March went weird. People postponed, his diary went odd, and by the Thursday we recorded he'd done (his words) sweet FA, with coaching clients and a pile of work now landing on the Friday. His line is that most people suck because they don't do the small stuff every day. That week he was one of them.
I brought in a quote I used in Done Beats Perfect. It isn't mine. The best thing to do is the right thing, the second best is the wrong thing, the worst is nothing. Only sometimes nothing is the right call. If something's knocked you emotionally, going in all guns blazing can make it worse.
That landed with Nigel. Something had happened that week that had got to him more than he'd let on, and he realised he should have just given himself the week and stopped beating himself up.
I talk to a mentor of mine two or three times a week, and half the time I don't need his answer. I just need to say the thing out loud. We'd talked that very day about having a gut feel and then walking a circle round it to see what else you could do. Sometimes the best option is to park it. I also told the story of a friend whose own staff sent him home. They didn't know what was going on and he didn't have to tell them, but he wasn't helping anyone by being there.
There's a line between being open and verbal diarrhoea, though. A guy I interviewed a few years back, Nicholas Bareley, uses the tagline "your mess is your message". I told him he'd missed a bit. The second half of message is age, so let the mess age a while first. Then I swore about watching rubbish on telly, which is normally Nigel's job, and he apologised to the listeners for me.
The short version
- The small daily stuff is what stops the whole week piling up on a Friday.
- If something's knocked you, give yourself the slow day or week and don't beat yourself up about it.
- Can't take time off? At least tell the people around you you're not at your best today.
- Sometimes saying it out loud to someone you trust is all you need.
- Let the mess age before it becomes your message.
The reason why most people suck is 'cause they're not doing consistent daily tasks.
Nigel Risner
I love that strapline, but I think you've missed a point. The second part of message is age.
Neil Martin
