First published 24 January 2022 on Your Best Year Starts Here with Nigel Risner.
Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
Nigel turned up with a quote he'd seen. You can't be everyone's cup of tea, otherwise you'd be a mug. That got us onto support groups, and the people in them who aren't actually supporting you at all.
His view is that sometimes you have to leave the tribe. It might be a gym, or the lot you go to the pub with every Saturday. He does it with work too. Every year he de-hires two or three clients to make room for fresh energy and stop himself going stale. And out came the lobsters in the pot, dragging back any one that tries to climb out.
Then I owned up to something. Between episodes I'd told Nigel about a goal for 2022 that I wasn't planning to share. I want to do more with my music again. No pop star plans. I'd been working on a few song ideas over Christmas and New Year and quite liked them, and one person I played them to said I was doing people a disservice by not putting them out. That stuck. (Nigel also found out halfway through that it's my voice on our theme tune.)
Last time I had anything released it went through record labels, years ago. Now it's Spotify and Amazon Music, so I did some digging and found a subscription tool that gets independent releases onto the big platforms. Nigel stopped me there. I'd had an idea and then done something, where most people do the research and stop. It's how Done Beats Perfect finally got out in 2021. Every step was either how or who. Same three letters, just rearranged.
So it's on record now. If there's no music out by this time next year, Nigel gets to make me do something stupid instead. He didn't sound too upset about that. And the end music on this one is me as well.
What I took from this one
- If a group doesn't serve you any more, you're allowed to leave it and find another one.
- Someone in your group who doesn't want you to win is telling you about them, not you.
- Research with no action just gives you more reasons in your head for not doing it.
- For each step, ask how do I do it, or who can do it for me.
- Tell two or three people what you're going to do. Then you've got someone holding you to it.
Remember I teach people to be comfortable being uncomfortable.
Nigel Risner
It's either how do I do it or who can do it for me.
Neil Martin
