First published 27 July 2020 on Your Best Year Starts Here with Nigel Risner.
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Just before we hit record, Nigel smeared factor 50 all over his lips and they went bright white. I couldn't cope. My head actually disappeared below the screen. He was about to go outside in the heat (it had hit 90 degrees in England a couple of weeks before) and his lips burn badly, so he'd put the stuff on before any damage was done.
That was his point. Most people put sun cream on when it's too late, and most people go to a coach when it's too late. The best coaches coach themselves. He's in three mastermind groups and still gets told after Zoom calls that he was inappropriate. He's getting better, apparently, so you can imagine how bad it used to be.
It took me straight to a keynote I give called How Can You Motivate Others When You're Not Motivated Yourself? If the boss walks into the office in a bad mood, the team ends up in one too. So change how you feel in the car before you go in. My simple fix is a song. When I need don't-mess-with-me mode it's Mama Said Knock You Out by LL Cool J. Most of the time, though, it's cheesy stuff I'd rather not admit to, Olly Murs and Bruno Mars and the like. Nigel picked Whitney Houston's One Moment in Time, then Making Plans for Nigel by XTC, which makes him smile for obvious reasons.
He also asks the coaches he works with when they last did their own programme instead of leading it. One exercise he sets is writing down ten past successes. Easy enough. Then he tells them they've got a week and he wants 1,001, and watches their faces drop.
I finished on kids, who copy what you do far more than what you tell them. If you want them off their phones at the dinner table, put yours away.
What stuck
- Put the lip stuff on before you go out. Wait till it hurts and the damage is done.
- If you run a programme, go through it yourself as well as teaching it.
- Sort your own mood out in the car before you walk in to your team.
- Have a song that lifts you. Cheesy is allowed.
This is a factor 50 that doesn't blend in. It just gets whiter. But then my lips don't get burnt.
Nigel Risner
If you want to lead others, lead yourself first. If you want to motivate others, motivate yourself first.
Neil Martin
